
Mark Warren

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Look, it might be the best you ever get, even if Miyazaki's pretty much on your side on this.

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Things Go Boom | Captain America: Brave New World gets its first trailer, featuring a Red Hulk and moustache free Harrison Ford
I'm not sure which of the two I'd be be more scared to fight.

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Art Of War | Helldivers 2's latest Major Order is finally letting its armchair General Brasches see if their battle plans would make Sun Tzu facepalm
“Supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance by posting a diagram made with MS Paint on Reddit.” - Mr Tzu, probably.

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Miyazaquella | There's now an Elden Ring mod that swaps Shadow of the Erdtree's final boss for Hidetaka Miyazaki riding Patches, because why not
"My loyal blade. And champion who pre-ordered the DLC..."

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Annnnnd, It's Gone | Did you dare to go offline and live in the real world last night? Sucks to be you as you probably missed an entire Helldivers 2 Major Order
Look, they're good at killing bugs very quickly, we know this.

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Willy Or Won't He | Dragon Age: The Veilguard does contain some nudity, but Bioware's staying purposefully mum about manhoods
It's also not saying anything about vaginas either, so a general pipe down about the realities of virtually laying pipe down here.

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It's A Game, Richard | Elden Ring's Igon actor says the role was a bit like doing Shakespeare, even if he had no idea what he was banging on about at first
"It was very mysterious. Mr. Miyazaki was a very mysterious character, but it was enjoyable."

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Setting Up The Court | NBA 2K25 gets a release date, and it'll see NBA and WNBA players share a cover for the first time in series history
It might only be for one of the gazillion different editions on offer, but hey, a nice thing.

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Pass Me A Calculator | Are the new Xbox Game Pass tiers actually confusing? We investigate
There's a lot of reading to do, but do you actually need to be an alien with two separate brains to figure out what Microsoft's done here?

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Back To Go Forwards | Fallout: London devs confirm the massive mod will need to downgrade your copy of Fallout 4, as the game's next-gen update "isn't stable enough"
"It's been an utter frustration and every setback requires the testing process to restart."

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Divers Liberated | Helldivers 2's latest hotfix aims to free those trapped in infinite drop-in jail, as Arrowhead teases info on next warbond is coming "soonish"
"I can't give any hints, but I feel like this one is going to grant a wish I've seen from folks."

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We Can Dream, Ok? | Palworld developer announces it's teaming up with Sony Music for exclusive merch, so here's hoping for a Lamball-fronted rap album
Look, we'd also take an easy listening record mixed by a Chillet, we're not picky.

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Help From On High | Don't worry, even Helldivers 2 developer Arrowhead's CEO has joined the campaign against patching out its lifesaving mid-air salutes
"Can we please, please keep this?"

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Not Getting A Pass | Apex Legends is set to to double its battle passes per season, and make them only available for real money - naturally, players are fuming
"Even when Respawn backpeddles, the damage has already been done."

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Dance Til They Die | Wahey, Elden Ring's DLC has now been beaten on dance pad, following a seven hour long boogie-off with its big final boss
The entire run only took a single week, just in case it wasn't already impressive enough.

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Super Salute | Helldivers 2 players have finally found an in-game quirk they don't want Arrowhead to patch out - lifesaving mid-air salutes and hugs
"It's a mechanic now."

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Maleni Hero Academia | Elden Ring fan-made anime - fanime if you will - gets a teaser trailer featuring plenty of bosses we know and love
Big high five if this lot combined have killed you less times than the number of seconds the teaser lasts.

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Back At It | Baldur's Gate 3 developers commemorate "lift-off" on what's next by revisiting the same dungeon they cleared during that RPG's final push
Because hey, sometimes you just need to remind yourself how well your last playthrough turned out.

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The Switcher | Huge new Witcher 3 mod lets you take on the Wild Hunt as a customisable witcher, witcheress, or sorceress - complete with spellcasting
If you've ever fancied swapping Geralt for Yen or Triss without totally breaking your immersion, this even has a fresh quest for mages.

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Sea Sprinter | Witcher 3 modder resurrects the boat races CD Projekt cut from the base game, just in case you want to give Roach a break
You've beaten The Continent's fastest jockeys, now it's time to take to the water.

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Booted Boss Blabber | Elden Ring Shadow of the Erdtree’s mute final boss appears to have cut dialogue that’d have seen it break its eerie silence
No, it's not "Oi, Tarnished, I'm about to batter you for three hours straight!"

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Boom Banter | Helldivers 2 players might be getting some fresh weaponry from the first game soon, cue a bunch of memes about anti-tank mines
Oh, and here's some more info on how the Superior Packing module actually works at the moment.

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Clutch Canine | Stop what you're doing, a speedrunning dog just won a game of NES baseball by slamming a walk-off home run at SGDQ 2024
Peanut Butter the Shiba Inu just did one of the best baseball things since the Bautista bat flip.

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Against The Hyrules | Man jailed for carrying Legend of Zelda Master Sword replica in public, prompting suspicions that Ganondorf runs the Warwickshire fuzz
Seriously, though. Assuming this is all he did, four months in the slammer seems maybe a bit harsh.

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Illu-moonate | Oh boy, Helldivers 2's latest Major Order might lead to Super Earth getting its mitts on a "powerful interplanetary battle station"
Hey now, you're a Death Star?

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Post Art-pocalypse | Fallout 76 "mix-up" seemingly sees fan artwork used in Atom Shop, fan somehow finesses this into official work for Bethesda
Fallout: Breaking creator Zack Finfrock's clearly been dumping his SPECIAL points into Charisma.

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Boss Breakfasting | Elden Ring ace casually kicks off a one-handed level one Shadow of the Erdtree run by battering boss mid-snack
Sometimes people question your integrity, so you've just gotta merk a dancing lion while eating, you know?

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Tinker Timing | Helldivers 2 might be getting a fresh hotfix with more performance fixes this week, but 'no sulking if there isn't one'
"Hope it does the trick! But we'll keep at it regardless."

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A Rogue Roll | How a Baldur’s Gate 3 modder who’d never played a "known" roguelike ended up turning Larian’s RPG into one
"There is still a lot that hasn't been done with the current tools."

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Again? Again! | Fresh off beating Shadow of the Erdtree, Elden Ring players have one last request for FromSoft - unleash the boss rematches
After all, killing a giant thing that's previously spent 40 hours battering you isn't quite enough if you do it just the once.

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Tamrielic Twist | Starfield modding project to create a whole Elder Scrolls-themed planet "has been canceled", but the poster behind it says it wasn't just trolling
"I want to emphasise that the project was genuine."

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Screams Inbound | Resident Evil 7's director is helming a new Resi game in development, and it sounds like the goal is simple - scare your pants off
Koshi Nakanishi is directing this fresh entry in the series.

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New Stuff Needed? | As Helldivers 2 slides down to about 10% of its player number peak on Steam, those left are torn as to how Arrowhead should try to right the ship
Sticking with fixes vs adding more new content - where do you stand?

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Supply and Deplanned | Nintendo has a cunning plan to beat the inevitable Switch 2 scalpers - make an absolute buttload of consoles
With component shortage problems sorted, prospective hardware overchargers should be in for a bad time.

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The Tenor Terror | Elden Ring Shadow of the Erdtree's big bad final boss has now been dooted to death using a saxophone
The solo from Baker Street and now this - the world's greatest instrument can't be stopped.

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Tarnished Teasing | George R.R. Martin uses Elden Ring TV series/movie rumours to toy with our emotions worse than Shadow of the Erdtree's final boss
"You never heard a peep from me."

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Still curious about Dragon's Dogma 2? Zoomer Morrowind's just gotten a big patch and you can currently play the start of it for free
There's a big long list of changes and everything, you know you want to!

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Return To Port? | Get ready for some Assassin's Creed remakes, says Ubisoft CEO, as everyone and their mum starts chanting about Black Flag
No offense, cities, we all just love a good boat.

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Draconic Detectives | Elden Ring Shadow of the Erdtree might not have oodles of cut content, but dataminers have already found and restored an extra cutscene
Death, taxes, and FromSoft loreheads finding nine million things Miyazaki and co have tactfully hidden behind the code for some rocks.

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Back In The Green | After mixed early Steam reviews, Elden Ring Shadow of the Erdtree has scythed back up to "mostly positive"
Difficulty discourse does dissipate, it turns out.

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Ok, how? | Elden Ring Shadow of the Erdtree's big final boss has just been absolutely tanked without dodging or flasks by someone I'm now openly scared of
Even our resident ER experts think this is a pretty nuts thing to have pulled off.

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Mind Your Mines | As more bugs are uncovered, Helldivers 2 developer Arrowhead reminds players that not every datamine is worth getting excited about
"Sure, we get that some are curious."
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Yes | Nintendo reveals its Kong Dong in court documents
Good lord, put it away Nintendo! We'll never be able to see poor DK in the same light again!

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You'll Shoot Nuthin! | Hitman's latest target is MMA lad Conor McGregor, even though Agent 47 can probably avoid his fists of fury by just shooting him in the face
Hey, nice try Mr Notorious, but you brought some killer kicks to a sniper rifle fight.

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Dead Keen | Desperate to see more of the Dead Rising Deluxe Remaster? You'll want to tune into the showcase Capcom's just announced
Kunitsu-Gami: Path of the Goddess and Resi 7 Biohazard for IOS are also set to make appearances.

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Living The Message | Elden Ring's Miyazaki might back making difficult games, but his pre-Shadow of the Erdtree playthrough was a struggle
"The freedom and open-world nature of Elden Ring perhaps lowered the barrier to entry, and I might be the one who’s benefiting the most from that."

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Messed Up | We've now reached peak Elden Ring DLC - Shadow of the Erdtree snake boy Messmer's been cha cha slided to death using a dance pad
The streamer even managed to hug a rabbit during the shift between fight phases.

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Race Against Time | Forza Horizon 4 is getting delisted this year, but you've got time to complete its longest race in a crap car over 21,000 times before it goes
Fire up your goofy little Peel Trident, it's time to put the pedal to the metal!

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The Bugs Are Back | Helldivers 2 players are headed back to the bug front, as Arrowhead teases giving Game Master Joel more tools to mess with Super Earth
"I can’t tell much, otherwise [Game Master] Joel would hunt me down!"

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Resi Returns | The 90s version of the original Resident Evil is now easily grabbable on modern PCs, with 2 and 3 coming soon
Ring your dad! Watch the endearingly cringey live-action intro again!